The last nap?

My parents are taking a nap together. Is it for the last time, I wonder?

It's a relief to watch my dad sleeping so peacefully, after all the restlessness he's been suffering for the last few days. But it's also impossible to contemplate that sometime soon he just won't wake up.

He and I have learned to "dance" together in a new way over the last few days. When he needs to go to the bathroom (which is agonizingly often) I help him transfer to the rolling commode chair. It takes a long time and tremendous effort for him to sit up in bed. Then he stands on his shaky legs and we do a kind of hug as I help him shuffle though the quarter turn so he's got his back to the chair. "Okay you can sit now," I say but it's hard for him to initiate the descent. I have to bend my knees to lower us both a bit and then he gets the hang of it. I've always been a follower when it comes to dancing. This must be what it's like to lead. 

He can't speak much anymore. His eyes rarely focus. And swallowing is getting difficult, except for ice cream which was always his favourite. I'm so glad we thought to bring some in for him this morning. He had it for breakfast.